Return to Nile Group

I attended Nile Group Festival in full again this week, opening, closing, weeknight parties, workshops and all.  I will be writing a review of the event and everything on Gilded Serpent soon--it was a big week so it may take a little time!  Great festival though, I love the teachers and the atmosphere of all the organizers, teachers, and their students being a big family.  Wonderful stuff!

I'd like to share with you one experience I won't include in my recap for Gilded Serpent, because this is an especially vulnerable experience I had, but I want to share it here on the blog.  It was very interesting to be sure.

I danced in the second dance party on Saturday night, which I've been semi-frantically trying to practice for the last couple of weeks.  In a way it was supposed to be a sort of culmination of the technique I've been studying with Hallah for the last months, so I was hoping to pull everything together and do a great show for the five minutes I would be granted in between masses of other girls and their friends taping them.  The open dance evenings are always set up so the girls with the CDs dance first and then the band, which usually ends up playing on into the not-so-early hours of the morning, so I was prepared to be up quite late.

After ranks of girls from around the world showcasing their hottest moves and costumes, I was beginning to get a bit hungry after the band finished setting up by about 1:30am.  By 2:00 I went to change and found out the order of the dancers had been changed around and so we were all getting on the list again, first-come-first-serve.  I waited around in costume, slowly crumpling with hunger and tiredness, as some people wimped out as time rolled on from 3:00 to 3:30, and those of us who were still to dance kept on our game faces and shimmied around to warm up.

It was around 4:00 when they called my name, and I waited through the first opening bars of Lissa Fakir.  I tried to let myself fill up with energy to that special, tingly, brimming, performance-ready place before I slowly walked out and up on to the stage.

The stage lights combined with those from the video camera guys were blinding, which always seems to make me instinctively look down, but I did my best to not bow to the assault on my tired eyeballs and keep my head up and smiling as I began to move.  It felt difficult, draggy, and something was not quite clicking.  I couldn't get the reverberation in my locks that I had practiced over and over at home, and my floor patterns felt repetitive and uncreative.  I did things I hadn't rehearsed, and left out moves I had really wanted to use.  I felt small out there alone with the wooden stage reflecting the lights back at me so I could barely see Madame Friez and Abu Shebika smiling at me like they so graciously do at everyone, all night.  In my loneliness I knew my posture was collapsing, I was breaking my back posture in a habit I've tried for years to get rid of it.  I tried to bring my arms up, keep the light, airy feeling of the song, but I honestly can't remember whether I succeeded or not.

I looked at the band, hoping for some anchor, some encouragement, some feeling.  I always try to "feel" the music as my inspiration and listen to what it says, but in this case I couldn't connect.  I imagined, from seeing many other dancers in Egypt and their bands, that dancing with a real Egyptian band would feel powerful and uplifting and encouraging, almost like riding an avalanche with that amount of power behind you.  Instead, we politely smiled at each other and I felt nothing but polite indifference and fatigue from playing for hours on end.  Even though there were smiles, there was no connection, and I couldn't grab on to any performance personality of substance, besides kind of classically pretty and emotive.

I did not impress any one, and most definitely not myself.  Suddenly it was over, and they were not playing me a drum solo, like they do for the best dancers, but simply playing me off.

I went and grabbed my camera from my friend, feeling horrified and let down about my performance, and brushed off the compliments people kindly offered.  I knew I was capable of better dancing, I had rehearsed several times and done good work back at home and at Hallah's studio.  I didn't understand what had went wrong, and felt helpless and discouraged.  I changed and plopped down in the dressing room to ponder on a forgiving sofa.

I realized I was starving.  It was after 4 am.  I looked around at other dancers when I crept back into the hall, tired and haggard-looking but hanging in there for their chance at a dance with the band.  We were all just doing our best, everyone wanted everyone else to do well, and it WAS hard to stay up that late and dance well on an empty stomach.  I wanted to be hard on myself, and I think I was, but I ended up forgiving myeslf a little bit for not giving the most riveting performance.  Let's be honest, I haven't been on stage actually since I came to Egypt a year ago, so I am unsurprisingly rusty outside of rehearsal.

I watched the video later, and I found my dancing to be not great, but decent and passable.  Maybe that's enough for me for now, but I am still disappointed.  However, it was humbling to be reminded that I'm not the hot shot yet, I'm a student and I'm supposed to be here to soak up all the learning I can.  We're all on a dance journey, and right now I'm in a particular place where I can't dance on stage at the level I want, so I will keep working.  Intellectually everything is there, which is at least a step. It's in my private rehearsals too, so that's another step.  I understand how I want to be dancing, and my body is starting to absorb my new learning (its been a whole week of new learning!) but it hasn't become second-nature yet to the point where I can get up on stage that tired and hungry and just do it.  This is the goal I think, accustom and teach the body a new way of doing things, so that no matter how crazy the circumstances it can move beautifully and naturally with the technique I've been working on.

The main thing I need is self-confidence, which has been a slippery subject for me.  While Cairo has toughened me up in some ways, it's also made me realize how young I am, that 20 actually isn't that old really. Amusingly, the memory flashed up after my performance of how a close friend in his 30s did call me a fetus awhile back just before I left for Egypt.  I still have a lot more living to go through though for sure, and a lot more experiences to have, so I don't get to magically jump the line and have tons of self-confidence and assurance about the world because I am still exploring who I am as a person and a dancer. That's fine, I've been trying to embrace that and half self-confidence while in motion on my exploration of myself, which is definitely a work in progress.

Well, Nile Group is over, and that was probably the most personally intense part of it, but the journey continues.  After the show I rode home across town in a taxi with some Oum Kalthoum music playing. The sky began to lighten gradually over the bright, neon lights of Cairo, which pierce the darkness until all the club-goers are ready to have a smoke and head home.  I sipped on some tea the driver offered me and tried to just relax and enjoy where I am, because what else is there to do when you find yourself in Cairo?

My Cairo Top 5

Well, my room mate posted her Cairo Top 3 list, so here's mine. Not that anyone asked but here is my Top 5 Cairo (not Egypt as a whole) list thus far, keeping in mind I haven't seen many of the major sites because I'm waiting for my parents to come, and keeping in mind that there are many more things, of varying sizes that I love and appreciate about Cairo:

1. Sitting in an 'ahwa downtown or by the Nile or next to centuries-old buildings, smoking shisha, sipping oversweetened Lipton Yellow-Label Tea, with my boyfriend. This is the time when I feel like there is no where else in the world I want to be.

2. It's cliche, yes, but the people. Cairo people are multifaceted and individual of course, but tend towards the happy, helpful, and mischievous with an earthy sense of humor. They are incredibly hospitable and sociable and determined to refute the bad image the West has of Middle Easterners. They will also feed you until you burst.

3. Hearing the music I love, every day, every where. I love Egyptian music, 'nuff said. It moves me, it speaks to me, and no one in the US gets that really, but everyone gets it here.

4. Ok, this is a bittersweet one, but the belly dance performances. These are the huge names of the dance world and it is riveting to see them perform, and unique, and sad. I'll have to write more about it later clearly and disentangle the conflicting emotions.

5. Hanging out in multi-national groups of people getting to know each other. Cairo is a major hub of education for the Middle East, so we get people coming through from all over the world. We salsa-danced the night away with Egyptians, Canadians, Americans, Germans, and Brits over Thanksgiving and it was a blast!

Probably I'll have to make a Top 10 List before I go home.

Dance and Stress

There hasn't been too much to report lately, besides the usual travel money woes ("Where did it all go?!") and school, school, and more school. We're paying for our two week vacation by a combination of using our previously school-free Tuesdays, and some Saturdays depending on how sadistic the professor is. I finally have wrangled a schedule with sleeping in a bit on Tuesdays, not going every other Tuesday, and with the occasional Saturday lecture, which seems much more doable then the schedule my professors originally wanted to inflict on us. Being in Egypt, we have all become masters of negotiation apparently.

By the by, I have several items for sale up on Bhuz right now, so go check it out! Up for sale are a lovely Khaleegy thobe (being modeled by my lovely room mate on the left here) and several beautiful skirts!

Ramadan Review
My Ramadan Article is now out in Gilded Serpent for everybody to check out. I had a lovely time here during Ramadan and I hope you all take the time to check out the article, as it shows a very special slice of Cairo life.

Dance News
Last night I got to go see Randa Kamel on the very famous Nile Maxim! This boat is so ridiculously known for famous people dancing there that I recognized the decor instantly from all the pictures of Cairo big-deal dancers placing them on that stage.

I was sitting at Liza Laziza's table with a couple her friends and Hallah Moustafa, so of course we got a lovely warm welcome from all the staff that know her, the waves and smiles from the band, and just the extra air of being VIPs. I must admit, I did enjoy basking in the reflected pretended "important person" feeling a lot, after having been a nobody since moving here.

The show included the requisite lounge-singer kind of act with two girls singing and dancing around casually a little, a tannoura dancer (who was actually quite excellent), and then Randa herself! She charged out in a boob-hoisting costume with a silver-holographic bra and belt and a yellow satin skirt, slit generously to show the stark line of nude shorts beneath. Hallah and Liza exchanged comments about the costume, which personally I wasn't liking that much. The skirt was riding up slightly above her belt, the line of the shorts was just obnoxious, and the bra was just way to push-up-togethery--BUT, as Hallah said, "Who cares? She could wear the [darn] table cloth and we'd still all love it!"

Randa is clearly a very talented dancer, with a great stage personality. Like all good Egyptian dancers, she has an easy happiness and fun to her dancing that is so accessible and joyful. Her moves are great, and executed so skillfully that I couldn't take my eyes off to take a bite of food! That being said, she is in her "Dina phase," right now which is a bit frustrating as I wanted to see her on her terms. Her moves were very strong and with lots of clean hip locking that I know may be more of a Dina thing. However, Dina has a lovely fluid sensuousness to her that I found slightly lacking in Randa who was hitting everything very solid and cleanly. It was perfect for the folkloric part though, which came across quite well.

She did two costume changes and I much preferred her folkloric ensemble and the bedlah for her last set compared to the first one. The last costume was quite nice in a lovely turquoise color with a sheer skirt over shorts, and much more tasteful than the first.

Oh yes and the band was excellent of course, I was so happy to change from the lounge-singer keyboard and conga drums band to the real Egyptian band! I remember why I came to Cairo now, right...

All in all it was a great show! I love seeing the wonderful dancers here, because it is just so inspiring and uplifting, like a breath of fresh air after sitting through hafla after hafla of mediocre dancers dotted with semi-talented ones that you're too worn out by then to appreciate or enjoy.

The Rest
Well, I found out my rent is due because of some mix up as to whether the last month of my three months that I gave the landlady was a deposit or a month of rent. Turns out it was supposed to be a deposit, no matter what was translated to me or discussed two months ago. So I owe rent now, and the flat owner is pressuring me to get it in cash as soon as possible which means I am again going through the frantically withdrawing cash as fast and furious as I can and running around to different ATMs, starting again today. I have to front 3 months of my own rent, and Dec-Jan for the other two rooms since I haven't gotten room mates or deposits for those rooms for next semester yet. Hooray. Wish me luck.

Escape to the Beach

The last week has just been a whirlwind of activity so I apologize for the lack of updates! Meeting new people, going new places, seeing new sights has me completely exhausted by the time I sit down to write at night. So much has been going on! Tannoura shows, Nile cruises, countless cafes, impromptu walking tours...I'll just post a few highlights for now and we'll fill in the gaps later. More photos will be coming too!

Ahlan w Sahlan
I have to apologize again to the dancers that are reading my blog on two counts: I haven't posted to Gilded Serpent about Nile Group yet, and I only went to Ahlan w Sahlan for one show. Bad belly dancer!

However, I got beyond lucky with the show I went to, because no less a person showed up wanting to perform than DINA!!! My favorite non-retired dancer! I couldn't believe my luck when I heard she had arrived with her (more than 20 piece) band because I had expected to come watch the teachers and see some good dancing, but not Dina!

Of course there was no videotaping or cameras allowed, so sadly I got no documentation of the show, but trust me, Dina knocked my socks off completely. I've seen youtube videos of her, sure, and pictures, but this was completely amazing. She was just so glowing and beautiful! Her smile illuminated the room and her attitude was completely spot on, not superior or haughty or even too porny (yes, even though it was Dina!) but just welcoming and gracious. Dina also got on the mic to say welcome to everyone and how happy she was to be here even though she had just returned from traveling because she, "loves belly dance!!"

Not only that, but when the band started up with the beginning of the mawwal to "Taht Isshebak" I was screaming because I couldn't believe my luck! This is one song Dina has made famous and happens to be on of my own favorite Shaabi songs to dance to, which I did at my going-away party in San Francisco! That particular section completely brought down the house, but I also enjoyed her performance later in the show to one of Amina Goodyear's favorites "Woah Woah Woah" as we call it that's about fruit--in a rather suggestive way!

I returned to Zamalek completely star struck and feeling I could die happy...seeing Dina live is one major life goal accomplished!


Ras Sudr
After now being here in Cairo three weeks Kara and I were ready for a bit of a break from the pollution and noise of the city. Don't get me wrong--now that I've adjusted mentally I'm loving it here--but we needed some peace and quiet. So our friends invited us to join them for the weekend at Ras Sudr (literally "Head Breast") on the Red Sea!

We spent our time eating, dancing around in the flat like idiots, cracking jokes, playing cards, swimming, and just lying on the beach. It was so beautiful there, and quiet! The silence and lack of people was shocking after Cairo, and the beach was just perfect. The sand is pale and powdery once you get into the water, and there are copious amounts of umbrellas to shade you from the hot Egyptian sun. The heat is perfectly offset by the slightly cool water, which by the way is completely clear and stays under 4 ft easily half a mile from shore. You can wade and swim forever before you get anywhere remotely deep, which we found quite nice for just messing around and playing volleyball in the water!

We nearly got into a daily routine of waking up around 1pm, eating breakfast (a mishmash of American style junk food and Egyptian foods like Foul), having a bit of a dance party, then spending all afternoon at the beach before coming home to eat BBQ seafood fresh off the boat. We literally bought our dinner one night while swimming next to the fishing boat! Floating suuq!

Egypt vs. Rwanda
Last night, Kara and I went with my friends to see the Egypt vs. Rwanda soccer match in Cairo. My parents seemed surprised when I said, "no no, we're actually going TO the stadium," as usually I've been catching the matches at a local cafe. It's like being at the stadium anyway because everyone cheers and jumps around practically as much!

We managed to cram a record 7 people in my friend's tiny car to do the hour drive (not including the waiting around for various things) to the stadium. I was perched firmly on Kara's lap in the back seat the whole time, which was a bit awkward, but everyone was in high spirits!

Egypt won 3-0 over Rwanda so of course we had to drive through the streets waving our Egyptian flags out the car windows and celebrating! People seemed a bit surprised to see two white chicks cheering and screaming, "Masr!" so we managed to cause one guy to run into the car in front of him for staring. It was just a light tap and everyone just continuted honking and carrying on. We had a great time with our huge group of friends and then went out to a rooftop cafe after for drinks and ice cream!

Tonight Kara and I are departing for the other side of the Red Sea, and a very different style resort town: Hurgada! More to come later!

HoT Show and VDP Costume Workshop

Wow, what a fun past couple of days!

Friday night was my last show in the US for quite some time featuring Najla and me with House of Tarab, who are not only a fabulous band but some of my favorite people that I try to spend time with whenever I'm in town. As I tell everyone, I feel like they're family to me, and am so glad to be part of their circle of friends!

My family (adopted and biological) all came out--in fact we made up pretty much the entire audience as lots of people seemed to be busy that night. My parents were also there, which was a real treat since they rarely get to see my dance these days as we live two states apart.

HoT didn't care about the limited audience though, they still delivered a fun and engaging show of classic cabaret music that everyone raved about! My family has heard their music before, we all agreed that HoT has made great strides this past year as a group. I have always been moved by their music and they are sounding better than ever now, especially with the inclusion of new member Andy Zadrozny on bass. In addition, my parents were particularly impressed with drummer Erik Brown's skills on the doumbek, remarking that he's sounding, "much sharper and cleaner than ever before."

Sallah Ali performed a wonderfully elegant and soulful violin taqsim, which I'm pretty sure I did not do full justice to, but definitely enjoyed. Stephen Elaimy and David McGrath also played wonderful solo sections, and fed into the great chemistry this group has. I haven't worked with a band as cohesive and with such good group dynamics as HoT. To me, their teamwork and friendship lays the foundation for not only great music, but an engaging attitude that keeps the audience clapping and cheering all night. Everyone there had a blast!

As for my dancing, I ended up somewhat underwhelming myself, but I'm feeling good over all about the show. I've been dancing with the wonderful Georges Lammam Ensemble for the past two years, and it's true that one can get easily attuned to a certain band's style. This can be an advantage, but not always in this case, as I didn't get as tarab-ed out as I was hoping for. Still, I was just happy to see them again and enjoy the company of friends and family! Both my awesome teachers Dahlia and Delilah were there and I was beyond glad for their support! They've both given me a lot over the last few years I've been dancing and are such inspirational dancers--definitely catch any shows of theirs you can!

Here's a short youtube vid of me dancing to HoT's version of Ana Fi Enta Zarek--by the way the costume is one of my original creations, and you can read more about my costuming here



Today, I dropped by Delilah's costume workshop for participants in her group for the Fremont Solstice Parade. The parade is special to me because seeing Delilah's group of over 100 dancers there inspired me to take belly dance lessons myself! I've participated each year since, but as I won't be able to attend the actual event for 2009 I've been popping in to practices and workshops to help out and stay connected. This year the theme for her group is water, and they're coming up with some gorgeous dances so far, including Dahlia's Khaleeji group who will be doing dances from the gulf region.

I was dropping by the workshop to say hi, put in a few words on costuming, and show a few original costumes as well as my portfolio! Here's a sneak look at my portfolio, which will be published online at some point in the future:

Final US Show

As advertised on www.NicoleBD.com for the last couple months, my LAST show in the United States for quite some time is tonight in Seattle! I will also be wearing one of my own designs, a unique one-of-a-kind costume! Stay tuned for a review, pics, and maybe video--who knows?